Track Title:               Baseball And The Exams-A 'Mix-Up'
Album Title:               Internet Contributor III - Frank Sinatra

Prime Artist:              Lorenz Hart
Written by:                Lorenz Hart
From:                      1913
I lay one night, a-dreaming,
My homework still undone;
The world was but a baseball field
And I, it's "Mathewson."
Yes, master of the "drop" was I.
And of the "fadeaway,"
And Greek and Trig,
Poor Greek and Trig,
Seemed very far away.

Then entered Jinx, wizard of woe,
And uttered:  "Entrance Board!"
The concrete stand changed into desks,
The fans to pupils.  Laud!
And Jinx, he grabbed me by the ears,
Believe me I was awed.

"Young man, you know the Roman Wars?
Speak up, or you will flunk."
"Yes, sir," said I, "I've got a list";
But then I lost all spunk.
"In literature, what have you read?
Will Shakespeare, Poe or Swift?"
"I've read McCormick's 'Ode to Sterne'
And Goldberg's 'Daily Drift.'"

"What about German?"  "Sure," said I,
"I know Hans Wagner well."
"I think you'll flunk," said Jinx at last;
He pushed me, and I fell,
Down in a cubic cube I fell
And hit a tangent post.
Oh!  Dante's Hell is surely sweet
Compared to Jinx's roast.

The devils fooled with big test tubes,
Made H-2 So-4;
It was so hot my baseball spikes
Melted upon the floor.
"Give me a chance, dear Jinx, just one,"
Begged I, and he replied,
"Tell me the platform of your choice,
The hobby you bestride."

"I am a Socialist, sir," I said.
And Jinx cried out with joy,
"We Devils all support that Cause,
Our blessing on you, boy!"
And while he spoke, a test tube broke-
A boom!  A crash!!!  A roar!!!
And from sheer fright I pulled my sheets
And bedding to the floor.

"It's half past eight, get up right now,
Or you'll be late again!"
I rubbed my eyes and wondered how
My nightmare left me sane.
But I have written seven strains
Of awful doggerel,
About some things you don't believe,
And, as you're right, farewell!

Contributed by Carlene Bogle